T1+Persuade

14/04/11 - Very awesome Kimberley. I love the way you have included all of the information and facts this really backs up what you are saying. Maybe next time you could use a rhetorical question and an imperative. Keep using these language resources in your writing so you can move up to a 3a. __ Wednesday 13th April __



14/04/11 - This is amazing Kimberly you have so much detail in here. I am very impressed. Using your researching skills like this enhances your reading/writing and general knowledge so keep up the great work. You have used some really good language resources here - 'flood to our beaches'

__ Wednesday 13th April __



__ Wednesday 6th April __

Miss Stovold helped me correct my work. Great persuasive writing Kimberly you are doing so well. It is great to see you are using some of the language resources that we have been looking at.

__ Monday 14th march __

LI: Identify language resources and understand how to use these in our writing

SC: I will use some synonyms, descriptive words e.g. adjectives, similes, metaphors, strong verbs, imperative(command), rhetorical questions, facts and data (statistics), exaggeration and repetition.

//W//hy sit around and watch buildings collapse when **you** yes **you** could help save peoples lives by saving them from the rubble/dangers in the city of Christchurch?

Most victims in the 2011 Christchurch earthquake are extremely scared and as a result are not willing to go back into the crumbling buildings and help others in desperate need of attention. People need to know the following; that they aren’t the only ones who are frightened, how they can be safe by buying special tubes to protect you in an earth quake, what they can do to help comfort one another regarding missing or dead family members and about the dangers of being outside or around liquefaction.

There have been over one thousand earthquakes in Christchurch causing widespread damage and multiple fatalities. This has resulted in terrible damage to many well known buildings, so now most Canterbury citizens think that because most of the well known buildings are destroyed that they are now nothing and people will not want to visit.

We need to spend money buying steel tubes to go in buildings so that if there is another earthquake people can jump into the tubes to be protected so they don’t have major injuries, like gashes to the head or broken bones, and that if you did not have the tube you will be lucky enough to make it out alive.

Lots of people from the Christchurch community need medical care and need to be rushed to the nearest medical centre but we have to realize that there are not enough ambulances. Everyone that has a spare vehicle needs to drive those in need of medical attention to the nearest medical centre.

At least 161 people have been confirmed dead as of 2nd March 2011, and more than 200 people have been reported missing, making the earthquake the second deadliest natural disaster recorded in New Zealand history.

Liquefaction is an extremely big danger because the ground is slowly collapsing into it's self. Everyone needs to be informed about the dangers and risks about liquefaction.

Now that you have read this letter you need to consider Everything I have said.

Yours sincerely Kimberly

30/3/11 I will go over this with you next week

__ Monday 28th March __

LI: Identify language resources and understand how to use these in our writing

SC: I will use some synonyms, descriptive words e.g. adjectives, similes, metaphors, strong verbs, imperative(command), rhetorical questions, facts and data (statistics), exaggeration and repetition.

__Monday 14th march __

DANGERS IN THE CITY OF CHRISTCHURCH

//Why sit around and watch buildings collapse when// **//you//** //yes// **//you//** //could help save peoples lives by saving them from the rubble/dangers in the city of Christchurch?//

//Most victims in the 2011 Christchurch earthquake are extremely scared and as a result are not willing to go back into the crumbling buildings and help others in desperate need of attention. People need to know that they aren’t the only ones who are frightened, how they can be safe by buying special tubes to protect you in an earth quake, what they can do to help to comfort one another about missing or dead family members and about the dangers about being outside or around liquefaction.//

<span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Arial; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">//There have been over one thousand earthquakes in Christchurch causing widespread damage and multiple fatalities. This has made terrible damage to many well known buildings, so most Canterbury citizens think that because most of the well known buildings are destroyed that they are now nothing and people will not want to visit.//

<span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Arial; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">//We need to spend money buying Steel tubes to go in buildings so that if there is another earthquake people can jump into the tubes to be protected so they don’t have major injuries, like gashes to the head or broken bones but if you did not have the tube you will be lucky enough to make it out alive.//

<span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Arial; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">//Lots of people from the Christchurch community need medical care and need to be rushed to the nearest medical centre but we have to realize that there are not enough ambulances, so everyone that has a spare vehicle needs to drive those in need of medical attention to the nearest medical centre.//

<span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Arial; letter-spacing: 0px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">//At least 161 people have been confirmed dead as of 2nd March 2011, and more than 200 people have been reported missing,// //making the earthquake the second deadliest natural disaster recorded in New Zealand history.//

<span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Arial; letter-spacing: 0px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">//Liquefaction is an extremely big danger because the ground is slowly collapsing into it's self. Everyone needs to be informed about the dangers and risks about liquefaction.//

<span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Arial; letter-spacing: 0px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">//Now that you have read this letter I// **//HOPE//** //you will consider Everything I have said.//

<span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Arial; letter-spacing: 0px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">//Yours sincerely// <span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Arial; letter-spacing: 0px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">//Kimberly//